Alexia's Views

What is Your Hero's Journey?

As you probably know, I wrote a book a few years ago called, Views from the 13th Floor: Conversations with My Mentor. The book was a non-fiction book based on my visits with Rhonda Shasteen, the Chief Marketing Officer (now retired) of Mary Kay. The entire experience was beautiful and got me hooked on writing. Now, I'm exploring writing a fiction book and decided to take some classes at Southern Methodist University in Dallas called The Writer's Path. It is an adult learning program that helps people who want to write books and learn their creative process byteaching them fundamental skills.

As part of the program, we spend a lot of time discussing character and plot development. We study an outline of stories called the hero's journey in a book by Christopher Vogler called The Writer's Journey. I found the hero's journey interesting because it simplified the writing process. It takes a lot of questions out of the high level process a character goes through in the story.

It begins with a call to adventure, a refusal of the call, acceptance, and engaging in the adventure by crossing the threshold. Then there are tests, enemies and allies, the ordeal and the elixir. 

When I read the hero's journey for a fictional character, I saw how it could often be applied to my own life. I have many times been presented with a challenge that I did not want to face, but eventually did. It often presented tough times, and friends who supported me. Then at the end of it all, I've learned many lessons and often feel that I'm a better person. This is the elixir in it all. 

If you haven't read my personal story of perseverance and overcoming, it falls right into a hero's journey, only I didn't choose to take the call to adventure. The call chose me, and at the end there is still an elixir. I can't change the past, but I will always be glad to have the knowledge and wisdom I gained as a result of my journey. 

I hope you can find the journeys in your life, too, because you can!

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Do You Live in the Past, Future, or in the Now?

I am an avid book listener. I like to read fiction and listen to non-fiction. I read when I ride the stationary bike at the gym, listen while I run and when I'm walking around. I am a compulsive multi-tasker trying to make the most of my time, and I'm also trying to learn to live in the now.

My latest listening adventure has brought me to The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. I'll be honest. Someone recommended this book to me a year or so ago, and when I listened to it then, it was too esoteric for me. I wasn't in a place to understand the message, so I was surprised when I awoke one morning with a desire to revisit the book. After a few days of the nagging voice of my intuition, I decided to go for it.

After all I've learned over the last year about choosing to be happy and using meditation as a tool to create awareness and make new choices, I was delighted to see I was in a place to use the message in The Power of Now to build on all of the learning.

In his book, Eckhart Tolle, explores how we use the past experiences and future fears to build pain centers in our lives. We focus on the pains of the past and the fears of the futures to motivate our action and consume our energy, rather than focusing on this moment in time. He explains that if you can separate yourself from your past and the future and focus on right now, then you will become a witness of yourself and feel greater peace and joy in your existence.

The book offers many questions and answers that attempt to challenge his theories. He admits there is value in facing your emotions and learning from the past, so long as you use them to be present rather than live in the past.

I must confess, I'm experienced in not being honest with myself, dwelling in the past and using my painful experiences to prevent me from moving forward in many areas of life. I never thought it was entirely possible to extract yourself from the past and the fears and emotions that controlled me. Now, through the power of meditation, I'm growing in my presence of mind and awareness, and I am encouraged through The Power of Now to continue growing the experience.

I encourage you to live in the now too because you can!

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The Power of Rest

I'll be the first to confess I'm not very good at resting. I love to stay busy and productive. I even label myself a producer (a title I snagged from my amazingly productive mentor, Rhonda Shasteen). I feel good when I have things to show for my work at the end of my day. So, I don't like to lie around that much and rest, that is, unless the objective of my time is to do nothing but rest. I've written about R&R before, but find it valuable to revisit the subject from time to time since it is so easy to forget.

I devour non-fiction books on personal growth, business, faith, foreign language, or anything that is teaching me something. I almost feel guilty reading fiction;however, in the many non-fiction books I read, I've come across a recurring theme...REST. 

There is so much value in taking a day to rest from all things you consider to be work. It can be your job, your side job, or your exercise routine. This advice hit me so much to my core that I decided to try a new approach and take one day of the week as a dedicated a resting day. Christianity and Judaism call it the Sabbath. Regardless of your belief system, a 24-hour period to allow yourself time to recuperate and recharge will allow you a more productive week. There are even studies that show people who rest one day a week are more productive the other six days than someone who works without resting.

Now that I carve out one day, I don't have to wait for a day that just isn't busy, to rest. If I wait for a slow day, it will never come because I love staying busy. On my day off, I read fiction, watch TV and sleep more. I hang out with friends and spend time outside if the weather is permitting. All of these things enrich my being without necessarily producing anything other than a well-rounded, recharged, whole person, and that is worth far more than any one product from the rest of the workweek.

Find time to rest because you can!

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A Daily Meditation Mantra Practice

When I first learned The Secret a year ago, I was encouraged to begin a daily meditation practice. I had never meditated, so I started with just three minutes a day. I didn't know how to meditate, so I began by taking a suggestion made in The Secret. The book recommends repeating a mantra that goes as follows, "I am whole, perfect, strong, powerful, loving, harmonious, and happy."

As I focused on these words for a few minutes a day, I thought closely to what each one of them means. I want to share them in case they are helpful to you. In fact, I begin my meditation practice daily with this mantra and try to expand on the words each time so they are meaningful to me.

• As I sit, I begin to think I am whole. I am complete. I am united. I am one. 
• I am perfect. I am perfect today, yesterday and tomorrow. I am in a constant state of perfection in every moment in time.
• Then I continue with I am strong. I am strong in my mind, emotions, body, and spirit.
• I am powerful in mind and body. I am powerful to choose my own happiness and make my own decisions that are the best for me.
• I am loving towards myself and my neighbor. I show honor and respect to myself and the people around me.
• I am harmonious in my mind, body and spirit. I am harmonious with the people around me and the nature around me each day.
• I am healthy. My mind and body grow and heal and develop naturally so my body can continue to heal itself. I added this one because I believe we all strive for perfect health. 
• I am happy. I choose to be happy in this moment and in the future. I practice the art of allowing and choose to be happy regardless of my circumstances. If I feel resistance towards anything, I can turn the other way and make a new choice.

I listen to these words daily and they help me connect with my inner-self more closely so I can hear the voice of my intuition and spirit speaking me. I've learned and continue to learn and hear this voice more strongly each day as it guides me to greater stages of perfection and more heightened awareness.

I encourage you to have or grow your meditation practice for all of its fruitful benefits because you can!

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You Are Responsible for Your Own Happiness

Are you happy? Do you want to be happy or feel happier? I think most of us just want to be happy and spend our lives figuring out what makes us happy and why. I'll confess that I spent most of my life people pleasing and believing I was responsible for other people's happiness. Believing I could make others happy, in turn, made me believe others were responsible for my happiness. 

Life ended up leaving me feeling let down and frustrated as I learned I couldn't make another person happy and they often wouldn't make me happy. We can influence other people's happiness, but the root of happiness comes from within. That's why I wrote about how to be happy now! I finally learned that joy is my job.

Happiness is a choice, and I realized I was responsible for my own happiness, I saw that others were responsible for their happiness. All of a sudden, it was like a huge weight of the world was lifted from me as I finally released the responsibility I had put upon myself to make everyone happy because it's something I have absolutely no control over.

Now, I am free to focus on my happiness and develop it through self-love and continuing to work on developing a healthy self-esteem and sense of self worth every day. 

Each one of us is in a constant state of evolution on our path to expansion and personal growth. The greatest gift we have as people is the ability to change and grow. I encourage you to nurture your happiness today because you can!

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Oprah & Deepak's Meditation Challenge

For the last three weeks, I've been participating in a Meditation Challenge hosted by Oprah Winfrey and Deepak Chopra. Those names tend to go without explanation. The Chopra Center is a hub for wellness and growth and uses meditation as a tool to get there.

I've only just discovered meditation in the last year. I always avoided it because I thought it might brainwash me in some way. I come from a very conservative background, and meditation was a far out concept. I was frightened of what I didn't know. As a result, I steered clear of it.

How to Stop Making Bad Decisions

That's a tough one, huh? 

I think the first step to stop making bad decisions is to realize you're making them in the first place. I, along with most of us, have spent months and even years, plugging along in a particular direction without any idea that I'm creating a pattern of bad decision making with regards to an area of my life. Then, I can't understand why problems continue to creep up in the same area. With the help of feedback from friends and loved ones, I might be lucky enough to open my eyes in self-awareness and see my fault. The painful step of admitting a personal flaw can often be the hardest.

The next steps are challenging as well. It's a process of stopping a bad habit while creating new good habits. Did you ever bite your fingernails as a child? I did. My mother tried to get me to see the error of my ways with Tabasco Sauce and soap, but that was no match for my determination. That same determination has served me in countless positive ways as it has given me stick-to-itiveness that has seen me through Dean's Lists and a health scare. It's a huge blessing until it's working against you in the form of stubborn blindness.

Once I've seen my mistake, the beast takes a positive form again, as it is determination to persevere and win a battle. I always have loved and thrived from a good challenge. After acceptance, comes a stage of processing all the past behavior in an effort to determine where things went wrong over and over again. I spend time thinking, doing yoga, and journaling to help bring me to greater awareness. During this time I'll go through emotional highs and lows, highs with joy over this new found vision and progress, and lows in grieving over past mistakes. 

After a while, it's time to start practicing new behaviors, but be careful to keep your eye on the prize. Where your eyes go, your feet and behavior will follow. Keeping your sights focused takes another quality character trait, discipline, and discipline takes a lot of practice. Ask any dieter who has ever fallen off the wagon. It won't be perfect every time, but you can get back on track and continue.

Lastly, when you're trying to create a new path, you may get lost and need to ask for help. Use your support system of friends and family to help you navigate a sure course. With self-awareness, discipline and support, you can be on a path to better decision-making. You can!