Alexia's Views

How to Release Your Pain

A while back I wrote a post called "You Can Have It All." It was the first time I believed that life could be joyous and bountiful and not riddled with one drama after the other. I believed it but didn’t see it manifest for long periods of time in my life. After listening to The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle, I paid special attention to the chapter that talks about how we grow accustomed to attaching to our “pain body.” In other words we develop patterns in life and expect certain things to happen. I secretly believed that I always had to be dealing with one major drama and that life didn’t flow smoothly for extended periods for anyone or me.

Then I had an epiphany of awareness as many pieces of the puzzle came together for me. I realized that pains entered my life, as in times when I have been sick, lost a job or a relationship, all happened when everything was going smoothly. I remember having a drama occur in the fall, and the first thing I told my brother was, “It was like it knew I was happy.” Now I see that I am so used to associating with pain or drama in my life that I don’t know how to feel and act without one, so my subconscious responds and makes me sick or messes up some other part of my life to maintain drama in my life. It’s a form of self-abuse.

Now that I am able to be a witness of myself and tune into my intuition, I am finally learning to engage in the ongoing process of disassociating myself from a “pain body” and drama in my life. I can see from my past the many times I’ve chosen bad men to keep drama in my life. I’ve had years of job drama during the most recent recession, and I finally attracted a job to my life that I love, where I feel happy and content.

My health has been going well, and I’ve even learned separate from drama instigating doctors that choose to instill fear in you as a medicine. Now, that I know all things are in the right flow, and I’m more centered with self, my true self doesn’t really know how to react or respond because it has never felt separation from the outside, drama and the “pain body” before. Now. I’m experiencing it for the first time, and it’s like my subconscious is getting nauseous to keep me in a negative life pattern because it is all it knows.

I feel grateful to be able to recognize it, so I can embrace my life in all of its peace and beauty and bask in the wonderfulness of it. I can feel the growing essence of freedom entering my life. Life can be peaceful. You and I can have it all and not be punished for it either outwardly or inwardly.

Release attachment to your pain and free yourself because you can!

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A Daily Meditation Mantra Practice

When I first learned The Secret a year ago, I was encouraged to begin a daily meditation practice. I had never meditated, so I started with just three minutes a day. I didn't know how to meditate, so I began by taking a suggestion made in The Secret. The book recommends repeating a mantra that goes as follows, "I am whole, perfect, strong, powerful, loving, harmonious, and happy."

As I focused on these words for a few minutes a day, I thought closely to what each one of them means. I want to share them in case they are helpful to you. In fact, I begin my meditation practice daily with this mantra and try to expand on the words each time so they are meaningful to me.

• As I sit, I begin to think I am whole. I am complete. I am united. I am one. 
• I am perfect. I am perfect today, yesterday and tomorrow. I am in a constant state of perfection in every moment in time.
• Then I continue with I am strong. I am strong in my mind, emotions, body, and spirit.
• I am powerful in mind and body. I am powerful to choose my own happiness and make my own decisions that are the best for me.
• I am loving towards myself and my neighbor. I show honor and respect to myself and the people around me.
• I am harmonious in my mind, body and spirit. I am harmonious with the people around me and the nature around me each day.
• I am healthy. My mind and body grow and heal and develop naturally so my body can continue to heal itself. I added this one because I believe we all strive for perfect health. 
• I am happy. I choose to be happy in this moment and in the future. I practice the art of allowing and choose to be happy regardless of my circumstances. If I feel resistance towards anything, I can turn the other way and make a new choice.

I listen to these words daily and they help me connect with my inner-self more closely so I can hear the voice of my intuition and spirit speaking me. I've learned and continue to learn and hear this voice more strongly each day as it guides me to greater stages of perfection and more heightened awareness.

I encourage you to have or grow your meditation practice for all of its fruitful benefits because you can!

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You Are Responsible for Your Own Happiness

Are you happy? Do you want to be happy or feel happier? I think most of us just want to be happy and spend our lives figuring out what makes us happy and why. I'll confess that I spent most of my life people pleasing and believing I was responsible for other people's happiness. Believing I could make others happy, in turn, made me believe others were responsible for my happiness. 

Life ended up leaving me feeling let down and frustrated as I learned I couldn't make another person happy and they often wouldn't make me happy. We can influence other people's happiness, but the root of happiness comes from within. That's why I wrote about how to be happy now! I finally learned that joy is my job.

Happiness is a choice, and I realized I was responsible for my own happiness, I saw that others were responsible for their happiness. All of a sudden, it was like a huge weight of the world was lifted from me as I finally released the responsibility I had put upon myself to make everyone happy because it's something I have absolutely no control over.

Now, I am free to focus on my happiness and develop it through self-love and continuing to work on developing a healthy self-esteem and sense of self worth every day. 

Each one of us is in a constant state of evolution on our path to expansion and personal growth. The greatest gift we have as people is the ability to change and grow. I encourage you to nurture your happiness today because you can!

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Create New Decision Pathways

For the last year, I've been on a path of discovery centered on learning the true meaning of self-love and choosing happiness and joy. I've made many posts about this journey including several about trusting your intuition and practicing the art of allowing.

Why Does Healing Come So Painfully?

Each day we wake up and go about our lives. Some days go by easily and others you wish never happened. For the easy days, we should remain grateful and enjoy them, while we brace ourselves for the almost always-unexpected tough times.

Hard times in life will happen to in two different ways. They occur as 1) consequences of your own bad decisions, and 2) completely and utterly out of your control. Those are the things that happen "to" you. Some things that happen as a result of your bad decisions could be destroying your life for drugs or alcohol. As a result you can end up losing your job, your family, and quite possibly your home. The things that happen out of your control will show up in the form of illness, accidents, unexpected deaths, and natural disasters. Many go to the doctor for a check up and leave knowing they have cancer. Spouses are lost tragically in car accidents, and victims of natural and terrorist disasters leave family behind to grieve.

When you've screwed up somehow and are trying to put the pieces of your life together, it's at least somewhat easier to get to the root of the problem and put the pieces together about how you got where you are. Other times you've been practicing developing a bad habit for ten years, and it takes something more shocking to jolt you into reality and self-awareness of your missteps.

Be Grateful For Your Challenges

Challenges don't always have to end in a dark place. They can often have many benefits and set you up for more.

Oprah & Deepak's Meditation Challenge

For the last three weeks, I've been participating in a Meditation Challenge hosted by Oprah Winfrey and Deepak Chopra. Those names tend to go without explanation. The Chopra Center is a hub for wellness and growth and uses meditation as a tool to get there.

I've only just discovered meditation in the last year. I always avoided it because I thought it might brainwash me in some way. I come from a very conservative background, and meditation was a far out concept. I was frightened of what I didn't know. As a result, I steered clear of it.

How to Stop Making Bad Decisions

That's a tough one, huh? 

I think the first step to stop making bad decisions is to realize you're making them in the first place. I, along with most of us, have spent months and even years, plugging along in a particular direction without any idea that I'm creating a pattern of bad decision making with regards to an area of my life. Then, I can't understand why problems continue to creep up in the same area. With the help of feedback from friends and loved ones, I might be lucky enough to open my eyes in self-awareness and see my fault. The painful step of admitting a personal flaw can often be the hardest.

The next steps are challenging as well. It's a process of stopping a bad habit while creating new good habits. Did you ever bite your fingernails as a child? I did. My mother tried to get me to see the error of my ways with Tabasco Sauce and soap, but that was no match for my determination. That same determination has served me in countless positive ways as it has given me stick-to-itiveness that has seen me through Dean's Lists and a health scare. It's a huge blessing until it's working against you in the form of stubborn blindness.

Once I've seen my mistake, the beast takes a positive form again, as it is determination to persevere and win a battle. I always have loved and thrived from a good challenge. After acceptance, comes a stage of processing all the past behavior in an effort to determine where things went wrong over and over again. I spend time thinking, doing yoga, and journaling to help bring me to greater awareness. During this time I'll go through emotional highs and lows, highs with joy over this new found vision and progress, and lows in grieving over past mistakes. 

After a while, it's time to start practicing new behaviors, but be careful to keep your eye on the prize. Where your eyes go, your feet and behavior will follow. Keeping your sights focused takes another quality character trait, discipline, and discipline takes a lot of practice. Ask any dieter who has ever fallen off the wagon. It won't be perfect every time, but you can get back on track and continue.

Lastly, when you're trying to create a new path, you may get lost and need to ask for help. Use your support system of friends and family to help you navigate a sure course. With self-awareness, discipline and support, you can be on a path to better decision-making. You can!

 

 

How Do You Process Emotions? 4 Techniques to Try Today

Do you ever go through those frustrating times when you are dealing with internal conflict? I'm assuming we all do. Sometimes something is bugging you, but you just can't figure out what? Other times you know what is bothering you, but you can't quite figure out how you feel about it or if you should do anything to resolve your internal conflict. It can be so frustrating and take so long to get to the bottom of the emotions, if ever. The only thing that is certain is that there is discomfort. 

So, how do you get to the bottom of what you are thinking and feeling? Most of the time if you can just figure out what you're feeling and why, you can make logical decisions to solve your problems. If you can't understand yourself, it's tons harder to solve the problem at hand. After having many conversations and reading books, I've learned a few techniques that help me to get to the nitty gritty of my emotions.

What's the Difference Between Emotional and Intellectual Maturity?

I bet you think you're smart. I'll be honest. I think I'm smart. I think I'm bright and whitty and write meaningful blog posts. No matter how smart I am, I do stupid stuff. I make mistakes, say the wrong things, and act out of frustration or impatience. I may score straight A's all though school and university, but am I fully developed in the emotional spectrum? I can demonstrate book smarts all day long, but every now and then, I show either eximplary or pitiful emotional maturity.

A friend of mine recently pointed out to me the obvious difference between intellectual maturity and emotional maturity. An intellectually mature person can write papers, churn out work, and score aces on tests. This same person may have no maturity at all to make decisions out of love and caring. An intellectually mature person may appreciate the technicality of a piece of classical music, but may not understand the emotion and passion behind it.